Damsel in Distress
by Anja Hoyl
Summary: The tale of Serenity and Endymion, a romance written with as much exaggeration as possible. A short parody meant to make you roll your eyes and laugh!
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Ok, everyone who has been reading "All's Fair in Love and War" and been paying attention to the authors notes in that story will know where this came from. If you don't remember, look back to chapter 15 to refresh your memory, the A/N at the beginning and end of the chapter. Anyway, for the rest of you, this is just a quick, two chapter story which is a parody of all those romances which over-exaggerate everything and are very predictable. Hopefully this will make you laugh. Anja._

**Chapter One **

She walked along the winding path into the garden. Her golden hair fluttered gently in the breeze, and her steps landed quietly upon the small stones beneath her feet. A dark shape stepped out before her on the small bridge which crossed to the marble gazebo in the centre of the garden, the one covered in climbing blood-red roses and deep green ivy.

She gave a startled gasp, her hand flying to her beating heart, in a vain attempt to calm its rapid pace. The figure stepped to her, and she saw that it was him, Endymion. His ebony hair shone in the starlight with a glow that looked like an oily surface upon the ocean. She leapt into his arms, nearly knocking him to the wooden planks making up the small bridge. Once he had regained his tottering balance, he led her to the squatted gazebo, so that they were sheltered by it, and hidden within it's dark shadows.

"My Princess," he declared in a rather masculine voice, "it has been too long since I have been able to share in thy company." He held her tiny hand, bringing it up to his waiting lips to plant a yearning kiss upon the silky smooth skin. She felt her already racing heart skip a frantic beat, and she brought her other delicate hand up to her creamy face to hide the maiden's blush that now streaked her rounded cheeks.

"Oh Endymion," she sighed. "If my mother saw us here, she would murder thee, or even worse, banish you."

"I would rather die than be sentenced to a life without the sight of thy ocean-blue orbs, that blue that looks like the ocean by a tropical island at about noon, when the sun is the highest. Thy eyes are like that ocean, and thy hair like that sun," he said, taking a dramatic step backward and swinging his arm out for emphasis, nearly knocking Serenity over.

"I know, my love, I know," she said softly as she regained her footing, "that is why I said that the banishment would be the worse of the two."

He paused his arm midair, contemplating her words. "Yes of course. Thou speakths the truth, although I am fairly certain thou dost not wish my death. But let us not think of such things at the moment. The moments that I can spend with thou are too few and too rare. I would rather spend the time stroking thy honey gold hair, and peach-soft skin. Thy lips, which are red like strawberries, call out for me to kiss them, and thine eyes, like two swabs of blue cotton-candy, make my heart melt. I wish pull thy body into a gentle embrace, and feel the silk of thy whipped-cream white dress beneath my hungry fingers."

She giggled, a soft girlish giggle as she tossed her golden locks over her shoulder. "Oh Endymion, you forgot to eat dinner again, did you not?"

He grabbed her arm and crushed her young body to his own muscular one, looking down into the depths of her crystalline eyes. "Perhaps. But that does not matter, if it means that I am allowed to spend time in thy presence." His husky voice caused the young maiden to shiver a little, and not because it was cold or she was wet or frightened, but rather because of his closeness. Alright, maybe a little out of fear, for if someone discovered them it would be hard to make them believe he was performing the Heimlich manoeuvre on her form the front, but for the most part it was just the closeness.

He brought up her delicate hand once again to his eager lips, and rained rough kisses upon the uniform skin. "Oh Endymion," she sighed delicately, "You don't know what you do to me."

His lips curled up into a mischievous grin as he draped the small hand over his broad shoulder, and she made sure the other petite hand followed suite. "When shall you tell thy gentle mother about us?" he asked with a chuckle in his deep voice.

She quickly looked out into the flowery garden beyond his high shoulder. "When the time is right," she said with a hushed sigh. She then brought her innocent gaze back to his searching one. "I must go now though, or else Luna will suspect something since I have been gone so long."

He gripped her not-so-fragile body tighter in his steel strong arms. "Must we part already? My heart is already bleeding with a desire not to be separated."

She flashed a bright smile up at him, causing him to shield his eyes. "Have no fear, we shall be able to meet again," she said sweetly, and with those hope filled words, she laced her slim fingers through his thick hair, and kissed him passionately. Only a lack of oxygen made them pull apart, both gasping for air. Endymion had to hold Serenity lest she fell. Once they had enough oxygen to fuel their brain cells once more, Selenity walked out of the shadows back down the narrow path. She turned back one last time to glance her love.

"Adieu my love, until later!" she called, waving her hand frantically in the air. She saw him blow her a playful kiss form inside the shadows, and tried to catch it with her own hand. She missed, and it took him three more tries before she finally caught one

He smiled to himself, a manly smile that in a woman would be described as dreamy, where she was daydreaming about the man she loved. His love-filled thoughts, although he would never admit that they were such, were interrupted by a blood-curdling scream. The dashing man jumped up form his seat and, well….dashed down the path in the direction his beautiful princess had gone. He rounded the corner and found his lovely lady there, held in the arms of the handsome yet malicious Jedite.

Endymion gasped. "Jedite!" he said with surprise as he stared at the flailing princess.

"Yes Endymion it is I. For once you cannot foil my plans, be it with aluminium or not! This time I will win, along with the illustrious Queen Beryl!" He tossed his well-muscled shoulders back and laughed, although his voice cracked. He stopped and looked around a little embarrassed.

The formerly afraid woman stopped flailing. "That wasn't a good evil laugh. Try again," she said, her voice betraying none of the fear that she must have been feeling.

"Thank you," the blonde general said, throwing his shoulders back once more and giving a much more convincing evil villain laugh.

"That was better," Endymion commented, as he drew his pointy sword.

"Thank you. Unfortunately, I cannot stay around and have you compliment me. I have a Princess to deliver, so if you want her back, you know where to find the wonderful Queen Beryl."

Endymion looked at him a little confused. "Is she still in that gloomy grey castle in the south?" he asked.

Jedite heard Serenity sigh. "No luv, that's her old place. She has that black castle now, the one with the fog in the north…."

Endymion smacked himself in the head. "Oh, yes, I remember now. Very well Jedite, I know where to find your lady as well as my own. No be gone, so that I may go and find you!"

Jedite looked at him a little perplexed. "What, no 'You-will-never-get-away' speech and then uselessly jumping at me with the sword?"

Endymion shrugged his shoulders. "I was going to, but there's really no point. You're going to get away anyhow, otherwise this story would not make sense and end all too soon."

Jedite sighed. "True, But you take all the fun out of being cast in the evil role," he said, and then with a wave of his hand, disappeared in a dark vortex which magically popped out of nowhere, along with the helpless Serenity, who had resumed her flailing, hitting him several times in the head.

Endymion stared at the now empty spot where the vortex had been. Our fearless hero looked at the sky where the horribly evil, yet surprisingly handsome Jedite had just escaped with the love of his life. "I will rescue you fair maiden, even if it should cost me my very life. Thy beauty far surpasses that of the sun, he who hangs as a golden globe of gas in yonder sky! Fear not, the Evil Queen will soon be no more, no more I say, and thy life shall be forever bound unto my own."

With those words ringing in the air, he noticed that no one was around to hear his heartfelt speech. He shrugged his shoulders, and went to get some dinner, after which he went to rescue his damsel in distress.

…………………………………………………………………………..

Well, at least this is helping my writers block, even if it's not that great...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The fair maiden referred to in chapter one walked about the small dark room. The walls seemed to be made out of fog itself, but she knew if was useless to try and penetrate them, for Queen Beryl would not have been stupid enough to not put a barrier around her. Her attention was brought to the sound of yelling outside her door, and the clatter of well-polished steel.

"Was that the voice of my love?" she asked out loud, clutching her excited hands to her slightly voluptuous chest. The clattering stopped, and for a few moments, there was a deadly silence. Tears started to well up in the frightened Princess' eyes at the thought that her one true love could be laying there, bleeding, dying, or already dead from the morbid wounds inflicted upon him. The door rattled, making her jump back in alarmed surprise.

"Who's there?" she cried out. There was a thud upon the well built door that sounded as though someone was trying to break it down. "My Love, is that you?" she called out, taking a step to the door.

"Mff, fm hnm nn. Nn Whmm fphlhhlm dmn nph!" came back a slightly muffled reply.

She peered at the door, perplexed. "I'm sorry, I did not hear what you said. Could you please speak up?"

"MFF FM HNM NN. NN WHMM FPHLHHLM DMN NPH!" came a still muffled reply.

"I really can't understand a word you're sa-" she was cut off as the battle-weary Endymion stepped through the wall, the fog allowing him easy entry.

"I said, 'Yes, it is I! I shall rescue you now!'" Serenity gave a girlish squeal of joy and crashed into her beloved, WHAM, sending them both flying backward to land upon the well-positioned bed. He hugged her tightly, relieved that she was up to this point unharmed.

"How ever did you find me?" she asked urgently. He leaned back a little so that he could look upon her gentle face.

"It was not too difficult. First of all you told me which castle it was, then I simply walked through walls wandering around until I found a room that was being guarded. Unfortunately, once I defeated the guards there, the Princess in that room said her name was Cinderella, and then she told me I was not Prince Charming and refused to come with me. So I wandered around again, mysteriously unseen, until I came here."

Serenity stared up into the eyes of her saviour, not listening to a word he was saying. "Oh Endymion, now we can escape this place and be forever rid of that wretched Beryl!"

Endymion smiled at the girl he had just managed to find, and was planning to rescue. He stood up and grabbed her hand, yanking her to the nearest wall.

"Do you know how to find your way out?" she asked, her voice hushed.

The dashing prince shrugged his muscular shoulders. "I thought that we would walk around, and eventually we'll find our way out."

Serenity beamed at him. "That sounds like such a wonderful plan!" Thus they tried it out. After a series of walls, they came into a dark room.

"I don't think this is the way. Let us go back, fair maiden, and search elsewhere." Endymion said, and turned around to lead the beautiful Serenity back through the wall which they had just come through.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the strikingly handsome Endymion and the wretchedly beautiful Serenity," came a loud voice. Both of our heros spun around at the sound of the voice.

"Beryl!" they both cried in alarm. The queen sat upon her ornate throne, a slightly violet spotlight upon her now.

"Yes, who did you think was here, Jedite again?" she asked, a sneer on her face.

A quited cough caught their attention. "Actually, My Queen, I am here." Jedite stepped from the shadows into the spotlight.

Beryl rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, I suppose you are. Now get out of my spotlight, find your own." Jedite shrugged and motioned for the Villain Ltd. tech crew to point a spotlight on him as well, and then he stepped out of the violet glow. Beryl returned her attention to Endymion and Serenity, but gave a frustrated sigh.

"I can't see them!" she said impatiently, so within seconds they had a soft white glow surrounding them. Beryl's hands circled around her hovering purple orb, and an evil smile played on her lips. "I had not expected to have the two of you in my presence so soon. How did you manage to find the princess and help her escape?" she asked evilly, as though she was testing them.

Endymion placed his large hand gently upon Selenity and pushed her behind him a little. "It was easy, all I had to do was walk around until I found her, your walls of fog are easy to walk through."

Beryl's smile froze as she snapped her head in Jedite's direction. "You didn't put up the barrier fog walls? You put up just the decorative fog walls?" she asked.

Jedite went pale. "Far be it from me to point out my innocence, but I believe it was you who put up the decorative fog walls last night for your 47th birth-" Beryl cut him off.

"I know which party it was!" she snapped, then sighed. "Why did you not remind me then to put the right ones up?" she asked impatiently through gritted teeth. He looked like he was about to reply but she cut him off again. "Never mind Jedite, I do not wish to hear your excuses. I grow impatient with you. Bring me the Imperium Silver Crystal, and do not fail me again!"

There was a silence as everyone stared at Beryl. She looked back and forth between our two heros and Jedite. "What? Have I said something that you find odd?" she asked slowly, as though she was actually unsure of herself.

Jedite stared at his Queen. "My Lady, I…I have brought you the Imperium Silver Crystal. Princess Serenity posses it, and she stands before you."

For the first time in history, Beryl blushed. "Never mind. Well done Jedite, go and…..annoy Malachite or something, I will address you later." Jedite bowed and walked away, the spotlight turning off. They heard his retreating footsteps and then a BANG and a series of choice curses as Jedite exited the door he had just run into. Beryl rolled her eyes. "Incompetent fool…." she muttered to herself as she turned her attention back to Serenity and Endymion.

"I win, little Princess, hand over the Crystal, and I will consider sparing your lives," she said, a triumphant smile on her lips.

Serenity sighed. "You already know that I am going to refuse," she said.

Beryl blinked at her in surprise, then a wave of dark energy shot out from her hovering orb at Endymion. He fell to the ground. Serenity screamed, and kneeled beside Endymion.

Endymion blinked at her in surprise. "That didn't hurt very much," he remarked. Serenity stood up and looked at the Queen.

Beryl's eyebrows rose as she examined her orb. "Zoicite must have been fidiling with this again, it's set to stun……" she mumbled as she fiddled with it some more. Serenity had tears running down her face.

"How dare you try and hurt Endymion," she whispered. Beryl glanced up at her.

"Calm down, I didn't even hurt him yet," she replied coolly.

Serenity would not take this though. "I am a fighter for love and justice, and even if you did not hurt him, your intentions were clear to everyone in this room, even if it is just the three of us, as well as to each person reading this story. They will each review just to spite you, and they will let their anger be known at your actions. It is not right that you have the power to hurt the innocent, even if you do have a purpose to fulfill. Your heart is filled with darkness and evil, and you are jealous of those who have something that you do not. You are pitiful! You don't even have Generals that can pull off a proper evil laugh on the first try!" she yelled.

Beryl stared at her. "I knew Jedite was still young but…." she started, but Serenity cut her off.

"I am not finished ranting! I cannot just stand by and watch you hurt those that I love, or at least attempt to do so. Your hands are already stained with blood of the innocent, and I will not allow you to do that any more. I will make sure that the universe is rid of you forever and ever and ever, so that your evil deeds can no longer do any harm. You may be stunning for your age, and I'm not sure if you use Herbal essances or not since your hair looks very soft, but I cannot allow you to exist even for you hair!"

Beryl stared at her. "You're starting to sound evil yourself-" she was once again cut off.

"I am NOT done! Please let me finish my Heroine speech! You don't even have enough respect to hear someone out when they have something to say. Isn't that right Endymion?" she asked and looked down at the man still sitting at her feet. He was looking off into space, so she nudged him with her foot. He yelped and looked up at her. "RIGHT?" she snapped.

He quickly nodded his head. "Yes, of course, whatever you say my love," he said hastily. Serenity brought her glare back up to Beryl, who was toying with her orb absentmindedly. She looked up at the glaring Princess.

"Oh, are you finished?" she asked. Serenity sighed and nodded her head. Beryl straitened up.

"Good now I can-" she was cut off by the sound of a series of crashes, and the sound of voices.

"You will not harm them-ahhh!"

"In the name of Mars you will-OW!"

"Venus love ch-whoops! Sorry Mercury!"

"Princess we've come to- hey watch where you stick your foot!"

Serenity, Endymion, and Beryl all stared in the general direction of the noise. Beryl sighed and glanced up, signaling for yet another spotlight. A beam of light fell upon a dog pile of arms and legs and short skirts. Serenity stared at the Senshi as they tried to get up. "Uhhh……"

Mars was the first to actually get up. "Why do you keep it so dark here, we tripped all over ourselves as soon as we stepped through the wall!"

Beryl had an amused look on her face as she watched the Senshi slowly regain their composure.

Endymion finally stood up too, al though a little reluctantly. "How did you know to come and find us?" he asked.

Jupiter lifted her hand and opened her mouth to speak, but paused, and turned around to look at the rest of the girls. "How did we know to come here?" she asked. All of the Senshi looked at her blankly. Ami started typing at her computer furiously, but after a while stopped.

"I don't know. According to all calculations,logic, probability, and possibility of sheer luck, we should not have known that they were even missing, never mind knowing where to come and look for them and actually finding them," she said.

Venus rolled her eyes. "Well, we're here, so we might as well help!" The girls turned to face Serenity and Endymion, who in turn faced Beryl.

Beryl sighed. "Well for one thing I was not expecting all of you, and I have given half the youma a day off, so I don't know how well a fight would go. On top of that, that imbecile Zoicite messed around with my globe, and it is now stuck on 'stun' so there is really nothing I can do but send you all back. Do you mind if we reschedule this fight of the century for some other time?"

Serenity pondered this. "I suppose. Mama will be furious that I've been gone as long as I have, so it would be nice to get back early."

Venus nodded. "That would be nice actually. I have this ball to go to with this cute prince…."

Mercury smiled. "I really should not be missing tonight's tutoring session…"

Mars sighed. "I need to be catching up on my beauty sleep."

Jupiter shrugged. "I was hoping for a workout, but the trainer father just hired is really hot, so I would rather work out with him……"

Endymion nodded. "I really need to get a head start of running from my life from Serenity's mother once she finds out we were spending time together again, so it would really work out for me too……"

Beryl nodded. "Very well. My schedule is pretty full right now, so I'll let you know when I'm free." Everyone nodded, and in a flash of light, Serenity and Endymion found themselves back in the garden where Jedite had first abducted Serenity.

Serenity smiled up at Endymion. "I'm so happy that we're back," she said, leaning against him.

Endymion nodded. "I suppose we will have to wait until next time to defeat Beryl." Serenity nodded her head.

"My Hero," she sighed. Not one to back out of being given credit, Endymion smiled. He then stepped back.

"Well, I should start running," he said. Serenity nodded, and waved to him as he started off.

"Goodbye my love….until next time….so long!" and with those words, her prince disappeared into the setting sun, singing his hair a little in the process.

**THE END**

…………………………………………………………………………………

_A/N: Ok, there you go, the end. I hope you liked it and that it made you smile. Oh, you might as well listen to Serenity and review, just to spite Beryl……._

_Cinderella : Hello, I'm still waiting here!_

_Anja: Sorry, some other story._

_Cinderella :grumbling I'm not like Sleeping Beauty you know, I can't be beautiful after a hundred years! I need to be rescued NOW…_

_Anja : sweat drop _


End file.
